Monday, November 8, 2010

Living Purposefully

First off, I had a great loss of 3.4 for last Wednesday.  That was a nice little surprise!!

I was hit hard last week by allergies.  I didn’t feel sick as much as I had absolutely zero energy.  I just could not seem to get enough sleep.  I was also hungrier than I’ve been in months, like stomach rumbling hungry not just mental I think I want to eat hungry.  So no energy to exercise and extra hungry – I’m a little worried to weigh this week!

One of the reasons I decided to start blogging about this journey is I really wanted to focus on the struggles.  I don’t want to ever have to fight this battle again.  I’ve done the yo-yo thing for my entire adult life, it HAS to stop.  I think the fact that I have been able to lose significant chunks of weight several times keeps me from being alarmed when I see the scale start creeping up.  I think to myself “I’ll start really watching when I hit XXX pounds”.  Then “I’ll just never get back over 200”.  Yet I do, and before I know it I’m well over 200 and the total loss needed becomes overwhelming and I just never start. 

I reflected a lot this week on how I got to where I am in life right now.  I know I gained this weight because I let work stress consume me to the point where I was eating as a coping mechanism.  I also feel other areas of my life are out of control.  I used to be a very organized person but as life has become more and more hectic I’ve just become reactionary.  Its only adding to the stress I feel which is totally unhealthy! I think the chaos is affecting my overall mental and general health.  I’m not exactly sure how to get a handle on it though!  My natural instinct is to just retreat into myself, but that causes me to move less and eat more and that isn’t the life I want to lead any longer. 

I think I need to just start slowly bringing order and routine to the house, not only training myself over but The Husband and the kids.  I want 2011 to be a new year of fully living life the way WE want to live rather than just getting by with what we have been thrown.

How do you juggle all the balls we call life?  Do you have any organization or routines that work really well for your family? 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Spring in my step

I wish I could come here today and tell you how great I'm doing on my exercise plan.  I'm not.  It's really tempting to be behind the screen here and just say I did as I outlined and all is well, no one would know but me. Who would benefit from that though?  Not me!  And um, isn't this blog all about me??

I failed to plan well on Sunday.  I knew my evening would be busy so I should have exercised early.  I somehow had myself believing we'd be finished with trick or treating in time for the kids 8pm bed time.  It was actually closer to 9 when we hauled our tired rear ends through the door and after a night of little sleep I headed straight for bed.  Same song second verse for yesterday.  I knew we had dinner plans at my sister's house but I had every intention to leave at 8 giving me plenty of time to run and be cooled down for bed.  Again, 9 pm when we got home!  Tonight is my scheduled off night, mostly because I enjoy watching The Biggest Loser but I'll be heading out for a 4 mile jog/walk as soon as The Husband and son get home from baseball practice.  I do find I actually miss when I don't get my work out in instead of trying to find reasons to avoid it.  I pray this feeling hangs around for awhile!

A few weeks ago I had a revelation.  Skinny people either do not notice your weight loss, or simply don't know how to acknowledge it.  In my mind, when a skinny person sees me all they see is my size so I would assume they would notice right away when that size started changing.    2 of the moms from my son's baseball team are friends of mine and pretty naturally skinny.  As I've lost this weight neither of them has commented at all.  Yet another mom that is also rotund, noticed right away after not seeing me for a month or two.

A lady I work with is very athletic and quite thin.  I know its a conscious effort for her to always eat healthy and work out often.  As I've lost weight she hasn't mentioned noticing.  Today though, she said "I just wanted to say you look great!"  I'll admit there was quite a spring in my step after that!  I know it shouldn't matter if others notice, I'm truly doing this for me.  It sure is nice when they do though!

Who do you find you are most likely to receive positive feedback from?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Deadline Dieting

Every weight loss attempt has a catalyst.  Maybe you saw a picture of yourself or got a negative result from a doctor or put on your favorite pair of pants and they wouldn't button.  By an inch.  Or two.

My catalyst this time is a vacation we are taking in March 2011.  We were scheduled to take a cruise this past February but had to back out due to one of our offspring electing to have surgery.  That he didn't have in typical 18 year old fashion, but that is a whole other blog post!  Our friends went on the cruise and had a great time and convinced us to book one for a year later.  I knew I wouldn't be fully happy on the cruise at my current weight so I needed to start losing.  But I had a year!  As you can see, it took me a few months to get fully committed.

Fully committed is what I am!  We are now under 17 weeks until the cruise and I'm determined to drop another 25 pounds!  That is not an unreasonable goal generally, but with the holiday's coming up I know it will take quite a bit of mental fortitude.  I'm a tough cookie!  I can handle it!

Only sometimes I'm not.  Sometimes?  It really sucks to be on a deadline!  Friday night was one of those nights. I'd had a rough week at work and was just all around worn out and we had a costume party to go to.  For the first time in a long time I was eager dress up and have a good time.  I also really wanted to enjoy several adult beverages.  I have the snarkiest metabolism in history though, and just the slightest amount of alcohol slows it to a crawl.  So I took my large diet coke and sipped that all night.  I allowed myself to have a small helping of some heaven on earth cheesy potatoes and a pudding and cream cheese desert and tried to remind myself it would be worth it come March.

A picture of myself and The Husband and our youngest adorable kids

If I had not been on a "deadline" I would have risked a drink or two and if I didn't lose this week no big deal - its not a race.

In the end I was rewarded with a good loss on Saturday morning that maintained Sunday and today so I'm very happy I didn't indulge.  Still kind of wish I could have though!

Are you on a deadline?  Does it get the better of you?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

1st Annual TIT

My workout plan to get me into Thanksgiving on a high note and start the holidays off positive!

The idea here is to really focus for the four weeks heading into Thanksgiving.  To push your body a little harder than you would normally, to log all your food and be fully aware!  I plan to work out 6 days a week, with a planned day off on Tuesday.

I'll be doing my strength exercise with some new (to me) Jillian videos.  I got this box set about 18 months ago but I've never tried them.  I'd read that they were not meant for someone who had not already been working out.  I'll review them as I try them.

Sunday - Shape Up - Front
Monday - C25k + extra 2 miles of walking
Tuesday - Rest day
Wednesday - C25k + extra mile of walking
Thursday - Shape Up - Back
Friday - Cardio Kickbox
Saturday - C25k + extra 2 miles of walking

Saturday, October 30, 2010


*We interrupt the previously planned post with an OMG moment*

It's not polite to brag on yourself.  I'm not sure why.  If you don't do it, it's not like there is a line of folks knocking down your door to do it for you!  Nonetheless, we people find it hard to give ourselves a big ole pat on the back!

I'm not patting my back, because quite frankly right now that would require just a bit more effort than I can muster!

I just finished Week 4, Day 1 of Couch to 5k.  I've never been a runner, or a jogger, or even a walk really faster.  In High School when you had to walk the mile in a set amount of time, decided by some desk jockey in Washington, I'd get it done in that amount of time.  I don't remember having to actually jog it though.  I hated to get sweaty in the middle of the day and I hated more the black eyes the girls left before the great invention of sports bras.

Tonight?  Tonight I ran for a full 16 minutes.  SIXTEEN people!  Not in a row, the routine for this week is Jog 3 walk 1.5, Jog 5 walk 2.5 repeat.  I didn't stop!  I gave myself permission to stop after 3 minutes on the second 5 if I needed to, but when I looked at my phone I only had 90 seconds left so I pushed through.  I don't know the last time I've ever been so proud of ME!

The old me would focus on the fact that my speed wasn't that fast.  My 9 year old son was with me and at one point was walking at my jogging pace.  Being the sweet loving brat child that he is, he didn't fail to point that out.  I just laughed and picked up the pace a little.  I also felt good knowing I was setting a new example, one that went out to exercise at 8pm on a Saturday night instead of one curled up under a blanket with a pint of Ben & Jerry's watching movies!

Do you find it hard to brag on yourself?  What has made you proud lately?

Friday, October 29, 2010

Tough into Thanksgiving

Tis the season!  The candy and baked goods and tamale season that is!  The time of year where more diets fall by the wayside than any other quarter.  It is so easy to say you’ll just enjoy the holidays and pick back up on the healthy eating and exercise come January 1.  I’d hate to quantify the number of pounds I’ve packed on with that mentality!

I want this year to be different!  The Christmas gift I am giving myself is a smaller size jeans, a confident smile and pride in myself!

I can count on one hand the number of holiday pictures I’m in over the last couple of years.  As the primary picture taker I have to consciously hand over the weapon and ask to be in a picture.  You can beat your warm glazed donut that wasn’t going to happen! This year will be different!  I won’t be thin, but I will be there!

In order to go into Turkey Day in the best mental place I’m placing myself on the 1st Annual TIT!  Tough into Thanksgiving!  We have four weeks people!  Four weeks to prepare ourselves to not binge, to not let one piece of heavenly pumpkin pie turn into days of gluttony!

For the next four weeks I will work out 6 days a week.  I (and by I, of course I mean my husband) will prepare food at home rather than eat out.  I will log my food and my exercise in Lose It.  I will try hard to plan my days in advance.  I will take my measurements and body fat % tonight and I will take them again on Thanksgiving day and I will be thankful for even the smallest of changes.  I will exercise hard on Thanksgiving morning and then I will celebrate the day with my family enjoying my favorite foods in proper proportions remembering that no food is “bad” if eaten in moderation. On Black Friday I will not lament any gain on the scale and will begin preparing for Christmas!

Tomorrow I will post my workout schedule.  It will combine strength training and cardio videos along with continuing the C25K training.  By Thanksgiving I could very well be running for a full 20 minutes at one time.  THAT would be worth celebrating! 

I just noticed every paragraph ends with an exclamation point.  That's just funny! 

How do you handle the holiday temptations? 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Nellie is the house!

Nellie, of the negative variety!

She is really getting on my last nerve too!  I like to think that I'm usually a pretty positive person but the last couple of days I've been fighting all the negative thoughts in my head.  Which in turn means I'm fighting to not try and shut them up by drowning them in fat and sugar! I'm going to get them all out here and them hopefully leave them behind me!

  • you've still got close to SEVENTY pounds to lose, you aren't even half way "there"
  • besides, when you do get "there" you will have so much loose flabby skin you will still look fat
  • even plastic surgery can't fix those arms
  • speaking of arms that wave in the wind, you haven't lost inches in those or your calves, whats up with that?
  • what makes you think you'll be able to maintain this weight, we've been down this road dozens of times before
  • the cruise is just 18 weeks away, with Thanksgiving and Christmas in between, just settle for this weight
  • you worked out two times in one day and ate right on plan and gained two pounds, why not just sit on the couch tonight
In my rational mind I know there are just as many positives, but today, today I'm fighting to get Nellie out!  Unlucky for her I'm still big enough to sit on her sorry butt! 

I weigh in tomorrow.  I'm not hopeful for a loss, and this roller coaster is driving me insane.  Maybe I'll pluck my eyebrows and scrub the dead skin off my feet instead of watching The Biggest Loser tonight!  That should be good for .2 pounds!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Well hello Mr. Murphy, please don't let the door hit you in the keester on your way out!

Shortly after awaking this morning I thought to myself "Lu!  The Man's snoring sounds a lot like thunder this morning!"  And damned if it doesn't also sound JUST like rain!

I had to rush to get the kids to school before the rain started in earnest, and put my plans to go for a nice long morning walk with The Man back on the To Do list.  I let The Man sleep in, because I'm an angel of a wife like that!  I sat down to catch up on e-mail only to find that my brilliant plan of saving money by reducing our data package on his phone wasn't so brilliant after all because he was close to his limit!  I was laughing with a friend on chat about what an ironic morning it was when - BOOM - I have no internet!

Most days this would not be an issue (well it would, but the whiny kind not the I'm going to get fired kind) but I was supposed to be working from home today and I have some mandatory testing that had to be done this evening.  Panic struck and I became an idiot.  I couldn't think straight past knowing my modem was dead, it was receiving no power.  Its funny looking back, but in those few minutes I couldn't think of how I was going to be able to do the work tonight. I talked to my internet provider and a new modem is on the way and once I gained my senses I realized I could go into the office and pick up a portable wireless card.

The Man went with me to the office and we stopped at Olive Garden for the soup and salad.  We both love it and its actually reasonably priced.  Did I mention I wore a white shirt?  Or that I ordered a tomato based soup? The silver lining to that story is the shirt has become really too big and I had no business wearing it anyway!

My normal reaction when life throws stessors like this is to eat.  Its something good that I can control.  I'll be straight up honest and say I looked at each and every item on the menu and really struggled with not ordering a cheese filled pasta dish! If I'd been by myself I'm afraid I would have, then followed it with a slice of pumpkin cheesecake.  I'm so thankful The Man is also trying to shed a few XLs and made the right choice, so I was guilted into following suit.  I've never been so thankful to feel guilty!

When I logged my food after lunch I realized I'd had more calories than I'd imagined, but I know I made much better choices than I could have.  Did you know that one helping of their salad has 1,990mg of salt??  Yikes!  I better go get another glass of water!

What does stress drive you to do?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wednesday Weights

a day late!


I'm very happy with this number.  Deep in my heart I feel like its a gift but its one I'll gladly accept!  I haven't not been tracking my food at all and I only exercised 1 day last week!  I recognize in my head that I this really takes more attention and planning, I've got to get my head back in the game!

I had quite a realization today.  I went to lunch with some co-workers at a local place known for their burgers and shakes.  I had a nice healthy chicken with black beans and fresh pico dish. Its really tasty and I don't miss a burger at all with all the flavor.  My my typical self would be eying the shakes.  Then that little voice would start. "When you get to goal you can have those." "If you weren't on a diet you could get what ever flavor you wanted."

Those thoughts didn't even cross my mind until later in the day when I realized I hadn't even thought about ice cream.  Ice cream is one of my worst trigger foods, I don't stop until I've eaten it all or become so stuffed I'm sick.  My serving size?  A pint, thank you very much!

In my heart I feel honestly fine without it.  I do know I need to learn to enjoy it in moderation, because that is the lesson I want to teach my kids.  There are not good foods and bad foods.  There are foods that simply should be joined occasionally and in moderation.  I'm an all or nothing person.  I'm either on plan 100%, or I'm filling myself with crap that tastes good but has nothing but empty calories and fat.  This is a hard lesson to learn when you are actively trying to lose.  You don't want to risk a low weekly weigh in by testing your self control around the sweets table.  I do think with the holidays fast approaching this will become more important.  I will need to plan some of my favorites, like pumpkin anything, into my plan so I don't start feeling deprived and go crazy.

But for now, I feel like I've reached a huge place for me.  I didn't sit in a restaurant and think of all the things I couldn't have.  I enjoyed a meal that was nourishing to my body, and the company of friends, and not one negative food thought! 

I'm currently on week 3 of Couch 2 5K.  I was worried about the 3 minute runs but I've been fine so far!  I'll do the last day on Sunday.  Week 4 has me scared, but I'm going to do it until I can finish it!!  My husband and I both have off tomorrow so we will be going to the park to walk 4+ miles after we drop the kids off at school.  

Do you and your significant other exercise together?  Do you prefer to exercise alone or with a friend? 

Monday, October 18, 2010

I'm breaking the cycle

I have to admit I had a wonderful weekend! Don't tell my husband I said so though, he may try to make me go camping again!

My husband has tried to get me to go tent camping for the last 8 years. I've come up with every excuse out there not to. As a young girl I camped with the Girl Scouts often and loved it. The rougher the conditions the better. I can remember camping when it was so cold that we would put big rocks in the fire, wrap them in a towel when they got hot and put them in the bottom of our sleeping bags to warm them up! I can also remember as an adult having the stupendous idea to go camping over Memorial Day weekend. In Texas. It averages 180 degrees in May in Texas! We drove to East Texas, found a camp ground and managed to pitch the tent. The next day we got up to take a shower and were so sweaty from trying to dress in the heat we needed another shower! We took down the tent and went to find a hotel!

This trip was for my daughters Girl Scout troop, and I couldn't be that wimpy mom that said no! I dreaded it for weeks. Even to the point that when my son had an upset stomach on Thursday night I almost hoped it was enough to keep us home! The weather here is mild this time of year so I didn't dread that, and times have changed and we travel with an air mattress so I knew sleeping would be comfy. What was the problem you ask? I'm by far the heaviest mom of the group. I've lost nearly 40 pounds. I feel good and strong and healthy, so why does this still even register in my head? Why do I have to fight to go? I worried about temptations of things like smores and chips and anything sweet that others might bring.

In the end. I totally enjoyed myself. I did things I wouldn't have even tried a year ago.

Not only would I have not plopped my rear in this bike a year ago, I'd have never posted the picture on the internet. And wow, I need to teach my husband to warn me to sit up straight! This picture is great to me though! I felt strong pedaling us up the hill (I'm taking a picture of my view along the way), I felt positive for doing something new and not caring what others thought. Mostly, I felt happy that I was doing something active with my son that he won't soon forget!

What have you done to break free lately?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Its all in the planning

My weight loss has been studdering lately. I know all the reasons why. Partly its water weight, partly is a change in exercise routine. Mostly though, it's a complete lack of planning. When I first started this plan I thought out my week, even if I didn't write it all down. I prepared 90% of my meals (which of course means my I requested what I needed and my great husband cooked it). I've lost close to 40 pounds, I'm in clothes I haven't worn in years, I'm hearing compliments often and I've become complacent. This is not where I want to be. I have another 70 pounds to shed and I'm not going to get there in this mode!

I'm having trouble lighting the fire! I've been roped into going camping with my daughters girl scout troop this weekend. I was a girl scout, I excelled at camping and all things out of door. And then I grew up and found out there were such there were such things as hotels with super soft beds and MAIDS and buffet breakfasts! Camping was suddenly not appealing at all. Especially in Texas! Yet here I am, on the eve of a camping adventure wondering how I got here. And stressing more about being fat and out of shape and less about bug bites or sleeping on rocks. I'm stressing about how I'm going to get my work out in and do laundry and pack all in the 2 hours I have available tonight. I was so panicked about my schedule being off it took me two days to realize I could just get up in the morning and do my 30 minute run.

It's time to re-focus. I know I'll have some quiet time this weekend and I'm prepared to work out a good menu plan for the month. I'll go shopping Sunday evening regardless of how tired I may think I am. I'm much more tired of being fat than I am from a weekend away! I have to remember that taking the time to plan, is time well spent! Do you plan out your week or month? Do you log your food and exercise?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Here we go again...

I feel like this is my 5 millionth attempt at losing weight. The reality is I wouldn't want to have to try and quantify it even if I could. It's my second attempt to document the process through a blog. In 2009 my husband wanted us to start blogging together. It went well for about a week and suddenly his posts stopped. I enjoyed blogging but as the year went on my determination fell by the wayside, and in a moment of frustration I deleted the blog. I wonder if a part of me thought that meant that the weight that was creeping up the scale instead of down wasn't real?

At the beginning of 2010 I talked 4 friends into joining the journey again. We tried to start a blog as a means of motivating each other and keeping each other accountable. As we all know, its not as easy as just coming up with a bright idea. I don't think any of us lost much weight to speak of in the first 4 months. I'm fairly certain I gained 10 pounds. In late April a friend of mine suggested I read the Belly Fat Cure. Its nothing revolutionary, nothing I hadn't read before, but something inspired me and it started me on a new path. I don't follow that plan now, I'm more just watching my carb intake by keeping sugar and white flour to a bare minimum. And I'm exercising. I'm almost 40 years old and for the first time in my life I'm really enjoying exercise. I started C25K and finished week 2 today. I still have many pounds and many miles to go on this journey, but for the first time in a very long time I'm excited to see where the road is leading!