Monday, November 8, 2010

Living Purposefully

First off, I had a great loss of 3.4 for last Wednesday.  That was a nice little surprise!!

I was hit hard last week by allergies.  I didn’t feel sick as much as I had absolutely zero energy.  I just could not seem to get enough sleep.  I was also hungrier than I’ve been in months, like stomach rumbling hungry not just mental I think I want to eat hungry.  So no energy to exercise and extra hungry – I’m a little worried to weigh this week!

One of the reasons I decided to start blogging about this journey is I really wanted to focus on the struggles.  I don’t want to ever have to fight this battle again.  I’ve done the yo-yo thing for my entire adult life, it HAS to stop.  I think the fact that I have been able to lose significant chunks of weight several times keeps me from being alarmed when I see the scale start creeping up.  I think to myself “I’ll start really watching when I hit XXX pounds”.  Then “I’ll just never get back over 200”.  Yet I do, and before I know it I’m well over 200 and the total loss needed becomes overwhelming and I just never start. 

I reflected a lot this week on how I got to where I am in life right now.  I know I gained this weight because I let work stress consume me to the point where I was eating as a coping mechanism.  I also feel other areas of my life are out of control.  I used to be a very organized person but as life has become more and more hectic I’ve just become reactionary.  Its only adding to the stress I feel which is totally unhealthy! I think the chaos is affecting my overall mental and general health.  I’m not exactly sure how to get a handle on it though!  My natural instinct is to just retreat into myself, but that causes me to move less and eat more and that isn’t the life I want to lead any longer. 

I think I need to just start slowly bringing order and routine to the house, not only training myself over but The Husband and the kids.  I want 2011 to be a new year of fully living life the way WE want to live rather than just getting by with what we have been thrown.

How do you juggle all the balls we call life?  Do you have any organization or routines that work really well for your family? 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Spring in my step

I wish I could come here today and tell you how great I'm doing on my exercise plan.  I'm not.  It's really tempting to be behind the screen here and just say I did as I outlined and all is well, no one would know but me. Who would benefit from that though?  Not me!  And um, isn't this blog all about me??

I failed to plan well on Sunday.  I knew my evening would be busy so I should have exercised early.  I somehow had myself believing we'd be finished with trick or treating in time for the kids 8pm bed time.  It was actually closer to 9 when we hauled our tired rear ends through the door and after a night of little sleep I headed straight for bed.  Same song second verse for yesterday.  I knew we had dinner plans at my sister's house but I had every intention to leave at 8 giving me plenty of time to run and be cooled down for bed.  Again, 9 pm when we got home!  Tonight is my scheduled off night, mostly because I enjoy watching The Biggest Loser but I'll be heading out for a 4 mile jog/walk as soon as The Husband and son get home from baseball practice.  I do find I actually miss when I don't get my work out in instead of trying to find reasons to avoid it.  I pray this feeling hangs around for awhile!

A few weeks ago I had a revelation.  Skinny people either do not notice your weight loss, or simply don't know how to acknowledge it.  In my mind, when a skinny person sees me all they see is my size so I would assume they would notice right away when that size started changing.    2 of the moms from my son's baseball team are friends of mine and pretty naturally skinny.  As I've lost this weight neither of them has commented at all.  Yet another mom that is also rotund, noticed right away after not seeing me for a month or two.

A lady I work with is very athletic and quite thin.  I know its a conscious effort for her to always eat healthy and work out often.  As I've lost weight she hasn't mentioned noticing.  Today though, she said "I just wanted to say you look great!"  I'll admit there was quite a spring in my step after that!  I know it shouldn't matter if others notice, I'm truly doing this for me.  It sure is nice when they do though!

Who do you find you are most likely to receive positive feedback from?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Deadline Dieting

Every weight loss attempt has a catalyst.  Maybe you saw a picture of yourself or got a negative result from a doctor or put on your favorite pair of pants and they wouldn't button.  By an inch.  Or two.

My catalyst this time is a vacation we are taking in March 2011.  We were scheduled to take a cruise this past February but had to back out due to one of our offspring electing to have surgery.  That he didn't have in typical 18 year old fashion, but that is a whole other blog post!  Our friends went on the cruise and had a great time and convinced us to book one for a year later.  I knew I wouldn't be fully happy on the cruise at my current weight so I needed to start losing.  But I had a year!  As you can see, it took me a few months to get fully committed.

Fully committed is what I am!  We are now under 17 weeks until the cruise and I'm determined to drop another 25 pounds!  That is not an unreasonable goal generally, but with the holiday's coming up I know it will take quite a bit of mental fortitude.  I'm a tough cookie!  I can handle it!

Only sometimes I'm not.  Sometimes?  It really sucks to be on a deadline!  Friday night was one of those nights. I'd had a rough week at work and was just all around worn out and we had a costume party to go to.  For the first time in a long time I was eager dress up and have a good time.  I also really wanted to enjoy several adult beverages.  I have the snarkiest metabolism in history though, and just the slightest amount of alcohol slows it to a crawl.  So I took my large diet coke and sipped that all night.  I allowed myself to have a small helping of some heaven on earth cheesy potatoes and a pudding and cream cheese desert and tried to remind myself it would be worth it come March.

A picture of myself and The Husband and our youngest adorable kids

If I had not been on a "deadline" I would have risked a drink or two and if I didn't lose this week no big deal - its not a race.

In the end I was rewarded with a good loss on Saturday morning that maintained Sunday and today so I'm very happy I didn't indulge.  Still kind of wish I could have though!

Are you on a deadline?  Does it get the better of you?