Learning I can't do it all

Is it irony that right after I post about trying to live a more purposeful life, that life showed me who the boss is?

My husband makes and sells jellies during a one week craft show in Novembers.  He makes enough money in this one week to pretty much pay for Christmas.  Every single year I say its not worth the stress and this year was no exception.  I'm sure my complaining could be heard counties away.  As I was recovering from a sinus infection that I left untreated for too long, I really didn't have the energy to deal with printing labels and other preparations.  I could have avoid all of that with a little planning and taking care of myself but I kept putting it off and it came back to bite me.

I have manged to continue losing weight but my exercise is sorely lacking so I'm sure some of the poundage is muscle.  That is just depressing.

I had a sudden revelation late in December.  I can't do everything myself, and I can't change our whole life in one day.  Everyone has big plans and resolutions at the start of a new year, and I firmly believe so few really happen because we try to change our whole lives over night.  I'll be blogging at my other blog about our efforts to stop living reactively and the small changes we are making to hopefully have big pay offs for us.  Most of them won't pay off for months, maybe years, but I'm more hopeful than I have been in years!

On the weight loss front my first change is taking my meals to work again.  I've lost SOME weight, but not with great intent, mostly I chalk it up to dumb luck.  I've allowed myself to let people talk me into eating out much too often.  Or, truth be told, I've flat slept 10 extra minutes instead of getting up and getting things together.  I also want to blog more, and read other blogs for inspiration.  Its interesting how when you struggle you stop doing all the things that help you stay on track, including reading about other peoples successes.

What is the first change you make when starting a healthy plan?

Living Purposefully

First off, I had a great loss of 3.4 for last Wednesday.  That was a nice little surprise!!

I was hit hard last week by allergies.  I didn’t feel sick as much as I had absolutely zero energy.  I just could not seem to get enough sleep.  I was also hungrier than I’ve been in months, like stomach rumbling hungry not just mental I think I want to eat hungry.  So no energy to exercise and extra hungry – I’m a little worried to weigh this week!

One of the reasons I decided to start blogging about this journey is I really wanted to focus on the struggles.  I don’t want to ever have to fight this battle again.  I’ve done the yo-yo thing for my entire adult life, it HAS to stop.  I think the fact that I have been able to lose significant chunks of weight several times keeps me from being alarmed when I see the scale start creeping up.  I think to myself “I’ll start really watching when I hit XXX pounds”.  Then “I’ll just never get back over 200”.  Yet I do, and before I know it I’m well over 200 and the total loss needed becomes overwhelming and I just never start. 

I reflected a lot this week on how I got to where I am in life right now.  I know I gained this weight because I let work stress consume me to the point where I was eating as a coping mechanism.  I also feel other areas of my life are out of control.  I used to be a very organized person but as life has become more and more hectic I’ve just become reactionary.  Its only adding to the stress I feel which is totally unhealthy! I think the chaos is affecting my overall mental and general health.  I’m not exactly sure how to get a handle on it though!  My natural instinct is to just retreat into myself, but that causes me to move less and eat more and that isn’t the life I want to lead any longer. 

I think I need to just start slowly bringing order and routine to the house, not only training myself over but The Husband and the kids.  I want 2011 to be a new year of fully living life the way WE want to live rather than just getting by with what we have been thrown.

How do you juggle all the balls we call life?  Do you have any organization or routines that work really well for your family? 

Spring in my step

I wish I could come here today and tell you how great I'm doing on my exercise plan.  I'm not.  It's really tempting to be behind the screen here and just say I did as I outlined and all is well, no one would know but me. Who would benefit from that though?  Not me!  And um, isn't this blog all about me??

I failed to plan well on Sunday.  I knew my evening would be busy so I should have exercised early.  I somehow had myself believing we'd be finished with trick or treating in time for the kids 8pm bed time.  It was actually closer to 9 when we hauled our tired rear ends through the door and after a night of little sleep I headed straight for bed.  Same song second verse for yesterday.  I knew we had dinner plans at my sister's house but I had every intention to leave at 8 giving me plenty of time to run and be cooled down for bed.  Again, 9 pm when we got home!  Tonight is my scheduled off night, mostly because I enjoy watching The Biggest Loser but I'll be heading out for a 4 mile jog/walk as soon as The Husband and son get home from baseball practice.  I do find I actually miss when I don't get my work out in instead of trying to find reasons to avoid it.  I pray this feeling hangs around for awhile!

A few weeks ago I had a revelation.  Skinny people either do not notice your weight loss, or simply don't know how to acknowledge it.  In my mind, when a skinny person sees me all they see is my size so I would assume they would notice right away when that size started changing.    2 of the moms from my son's baseball team are friends of mine and pretty naturally skinny.  As I've lost this weight neither of them has commented at all.  Yet another mom that is also rotund, noticed right away after not seeing me for a month or two.

A lady I work with is very athletic and quite thin.  I know its a conscious effort for her to always eat healthy and work out often.  As I've lost weight she hasn't mentioned noticing.  Today though, she said "I just wanted to say you look great!"  I'll admit there was quite a spring in my step after that!  I know it shouldn't matter if others notice, I'm truly doing this for me.  It sure is nice when they do though!

Who do you find you are most likely to receive positive feedback from?

Deadline Dieting

Every weight loss attempt has a catalyst.  Maybe you saw a picture of yourself or got a negative result from a doctor or put on your favorite pair of pants and they wouldn't button.  By an inch.  Or two.

My catalyst this time is a vacation we are taking in March 2011.  We were scheduled to take a cruise this past February but had to back out due to one of our offspring electing to have surgery.  That he didn't have in typical 18 year old fashion, but that is a whole other blog post!  Our friends went on the cruise and had a great time and convinced us to book one for a year later.  I knew I wouldn't be fully happy on the cruise at my current weight so I needed to start losing.  But I had a year!  As you can see, it took me a few months to get fully committed.

Fully committed is what I am!  We are now under 17 weeks until the cruise and I'm determined to drop another 25 pounds!  That is not an unreasonable goal generally, but with the holiday's coming up I know it will take quite a bit of mental fortitude.  I'm a tough cookie!  I can handle it!

Only sometimes I'm not.  Sometimes?  It really sucks to be on a deadline!  Friday night was one of those nights. I'd had a rough week at work and was just all around worn out and we had a costume party to go to.  For the first time in a long time I was eager dress up and have a good time.  I also really wanted to enjoy several adult beverages.  I have the snarkiest metabolism in history though, and just the slightest amount of alcohol slows it to a crawl.  So I took my large diet coke and sipped that all night.  I allowed myself to have a small helping of some heaven on earth cheesy potatoes and a pudding and cream cheese desert and tried to remind myself it would be worth it come March.

A picture of myself and The Husband and our youngest adorable kids

If I had not been on a "deadline" I would have risked a drink or two and if I didn't lose this week no big deal - its not a race.

In the end I was rewarded with a good loss on Saturday morning that maintained Sunday and today so I'm very happy I didn't indulge.  Still kind of wish I could have though!

Are you on a deadline?  Does it get the better of you?

1st Annual TIT

My workout plan to get me into Thanksgiving on a high note and start the holidays off positive!

The idea here is to really focus for the four weeks heading into Thanksgiving.  To push your body a little harder than you would normally, to log all your food and be fully aware!  I plan to work out 6 days a week, with a planned day off on Tuesday.

I'll be doing my strength exercise with some new (to me) Jillian videos.  I got this box set about 18 months ago but I've never tried them.  I'd read that they were not meant for someone who had not already been working out.  I'll review them as I try them.

Sunday - Shape Up - Front
Monday - C25k + extra 2 miles of walking
Tuesday - Rest day
Wednesday - C25k + extra mile of walking
Thursday - Shape Up - Back
Friday - Cardio Kickbox
Saturday - C25k + extra 2 miles of walking

Proud!!

*We interrupt the previously planned post with an OMG moment*

It's not polite to brag on yourself.  I'm not sure why.  If you don't do it, it's not like there is a line of folks knocking down your door to do it for you!  Nonetheless, we people find it hard to give ourselves a big ole pat on the back!

I'm not patting my back, because quite frankly right now that would require just a bit more effort than I can muster!

I just finished Week 4, Day 1 of Couch to 5k.  I've never been a runner, or a jogger, or even a walk really faster.  In High School when you had to walk the mile in a set amount of time, decided by some desk jockey in Washington, I'd get it done in that amount of time.  I don't remember having to actually jog it though.  I hated to get sweaty in the middle of the day and I hated more the black eyes the girls left before the great invention of sports bras.

Tonight?  Tonight I ran for a full 16 minutes.  SIXTEEN people!  Not in a row, the routine for this week is Jog 3 walk 1.5, Jog 5 walk 2.5 repeat.  I didn't stop!  I gave myself permission to stop after 3 minutes on the second 5 if I needed to, but when I looked at my phone I only had 90 seconds left so I pushed through.  I don't know the last time I've ever been so proud of ME!

The old me would focus on the fact that my speed wasn't that fast.  My 9 year old son was with me and at one point was walking at my jogging pace.  Being the sweet loving brat child that he is, he didn't fail to point that out.  I just laughed and picked up the pace a little.  I also felt good knowing I was setting a new example, one that went out to exercise at 8pm on a Saturday night instead of one curled up under a blanket with a pint of Ben & Jerry's watching movies!

Do you find it hard to brag on yourself?  What has made you proud lately?

Tough into Thanksgiving

Tis the season!  The candy and baked goods and tamale season that is!  The time of year where more diets fall by the wayside than any other quarter.  It is so easy to say you’ll just enjoy the holidays and pick back up on the healthy eating and exercise come January 1.  I’d hate to quantify the number of pounds I’ve packed on with that mentality!

I want this year to be different!  The Christmas gift I am giving myself is a smaller size jeans, a confident smile and pride in myself!

I can count on one hand the number of holiday pictures I’m in over the last couple of years.  As the primary picture taker I have to consciously hand over the weapon and ask to be in a picture.  You can beat your warm glazed donut that wasn’t going to happen! This year will be different!  I won’t be thin, but I will be there!

In order to go into Turkey Day in the best mental place I’m placing myself on the 1^st Annual TIT!  Tough into Thanksgiving!  We have four weeks people!  Four weeks to prepare ourselves to not binge, to not let one piece of heavenly pumpkin pie turn into days of gluttony!

For the next four weeks I will work out 6 days a week.  I (and by I, of course I mean my husband) will prepare food at home rather than eat out.  I will log my food and my exercise in Lose It.  I will try hard to plan my days in advance.  I will take my measurements and body fat % tonight and I will take them again on Thanksgiving day and I will be thankful for even the smallest of changes.  I will exercise hard on Thanksgiving morning and then I will celebrate the day with my family enjoying my favorite foods in proper proportions remembering that no food is “bad” if eaten in moderation. On Black Friday I will not lament any gain on the scale and will begin preparing for Christmas!

Tomorrow I will post my workout schedule.  It will combine strength training and cardio videos along with continuing the C25K training.  By Thanksgiving I could very well be running for a full 20 minutes at one time.  THAT would be worth celebrating! 

I just noticed every paragraph ends with an exclamation point.  That's just funny! 

How do you handle the holiday temptations?